The odds for each week's round of betcunting will be posted early each week,
in a thread entitled "[SBL 06/07] - week (x) odds", with (x) being the
number of the week that we're on.  All entrant's current balances will be
listed in that post as well.  The HOHY's opening post in that thread will
hereafter be referred to as "the 'odds' post".


Entrants then place their betcunts by replying to the odds post, scores are
calculated after all the relevant matches are played and the results for
that week will be posted by the House in a thread entitled
"[SBL 06/07] - week (x) results".


A minimum of ten fixtures will be listed by the House every week, each with
three possible outcomes (for instance: home-win, draw, away-win), including
all Saturday Premiership fixtures.  Where less than ten Premiership fixtures
are available, other betcunts will be listed by the house to make up the
numbers.  These can be on anything the House chooses, providing there are
three possible outcomes.  In most cases, only odds listed at the following
site will be selected for betcunting:


http://odds.bestbetting.com/football


Any odds sourced from a site other than this one will come with a link
for verification, although at all times all betcunts will be taken as listed
in the weekly "odds" post, and no exception will be taken into account for
odds which are skewed or broken, or altered by the website prior
to kick-off.  You'll have to take that up with the website.


To place a bet, simply post a reply in the "week (x) odds" thread, stating
your 'stake' (the amount of Youks you wish to bet), the fixture on which you
wish to bet them, and the outcome you think will come out.  You may place no
more than one bet in each round[1], but you can choose to stake any amount
of your current balance (whole numbers only) on your chosen outcome.  Only
bets placed in the specified thread will be accepted.  In all cases, all
official correspondence with the House must take place in the current (or
most recent) weekly odds or results thread, hereafter referred to as 'the
appropriate thread'.

If at any time your stake exceeds your balance, that betcunt will be
unacceptable and an amendment will, deadline permitting, be requested by the
House.  No exception will be made for typos or silly buggers.


In the interests of nice formatting, the perfect betcunting slip will have
all of the initial post snipped except your balance and the fixture on which
you're betting, and your reply will clearly state your stake and your chosen
outcome.  For instance:

====================



>                                     Home   Draw   Away
> Arsenal vs Charlton  1.2       4.5        12
> Mikey 14


14 Youks on Arsenal, please.

====================


Scoring:  All entrants will start with an opening Week 1 balance of 10
Youks.  If you win your betcunt, then your stake is multiplied by the odds
you chose and returned to your balance.  Scores are rounded off to the
nearest Youk, with .5 being rounded up of course you cunts.  If you lose
your betcunt, you lose your stake.  Simple as that.


==
Deadline:  The deadline to place betcunts will be as stated in that week's
'odds' post.  In most cases, the House will set a deadline of one hour
before the advertised kick-off of the week's first match*.  The time you are
deemed by the House to have placed your betcunt will be the time Google says
it first appeared in the newsgroup in the appropriate thread.  Any bets
placed after the deadline will be null and void, any bets placed in the
wrong place, within the deadline or after the deadline, will also be null
and void.  One minute (or more) after the deadline will be deemed 'after the
deadline'.  Exactly _on_ the deadline will be deemed 'within the deadline'.


*Window of Cautious Opportunity:  After some considerable debate and
consideration, the House has taken the decision to keep the Window of
Cautious Opportunity for this season, with one minor adjustment:  The Window
is now only two hours wide.  This means that whoever is in first place in
the final week of the season will be set a deadline of two hours earlier
than the rest of the field.  This is, as so eloquently debated by Dat,
Mikey, Ben, Sid and Osbourne, an imperfect rule with nothing but imperfect
alternatives.  It is also, however, a necessary rule, in that it prevents
first place from placing a 'covering betcunt' which guarantees that they
retain first place for the final week.  The House sincerely hopes that this
is to everyone's relative satisfaction and apologises to those who hoped for
better.


==
Top-up:  At the start of each round of Betcunting, you'll all* be given a 5
Youk top-up by the House.  That's good customer service, that is.


*Tiny Penis:  If you fail to place a valid bet in any given week**, you are
awarded a Tiny Penis and you do _not_ get a top-up at the start of the next
week.  Cunt.


**Microcock:  If you fail to place a bet for three consecutive weeks***, you
are awarded a Microcock, and you lose ten Youks****.  Fuck off.


***Cash Your Chips:  If you don't want to play anymore, you may Cash Your
Chips at any time.  Simply register a bet in the betting thread as "Cash My
Chips", and your balance at that point is frozen.  You will not receive Tiny
Penises or Micrococks for non-participation from then on, and your balance
will be your score at the end of the season.  It is possible to win the SBL
this way.  Bastards.


****Negative balances:  If, through losing ten Youks to Microcockery, your
balance becomes negative, you will be deemed 'Not A Proper Betcunter' by the
House and ejected from the competition.


==
Additional rules:

Voodoo Accused:  Should you win a betcunt on the longest (or joint longest)
odds posted that week, you will be Voodoo Accused.  The House will then
select a Betcunt just for you, for midweek, and as such will provide an
opportunity for you to disprove your Voodoo.


==
Poleson Week of Righteousness:  At certain junctures throughout the season,
the House will announce that round of Betcunting to be a 'Poleson Week of
Righteousness'.  This means that you will have the opportunity to predict
not just the outcome, but the score as well.  Those who get everything
inarguably right will have their closing balances multiplied by 1.2.


==
Additional bonuses:  The House may choose to offer additional bonus rounds,
such as Wild Willy Wagers, Vicky's Broad Flange, MingMongSodomy, Quantum
Betcunts or anything else the House devises, as and when it deems
appropriate.  In all cases, the House will endeavour to make such bonus
rounds equally opportunitous to all contestants and without 'inside'
information on any part.


==
Joining the comp mid season:  Any cunt can join the competition at any time,
simply by posting a betcunt in the appropriate thread.  They will start with
5 Youks.


==
Froup absence:  If you are going to be away from the froup for a while,
this needn't mean you can't betcunt.  You have two options.


1)  Advance betcunting:

This option allows you to be not just on that week's fixtures, but also
place one (or a succession of ) advance betcunt(s), clearly marked *ADVANCE
BETCUNT* followed by your choice of match and stake for each successive
round of Saturday fixtures on which you intend to bet.  Odds will be taken
as eventually listed by the House.  The House does not take responsibility
for cancelled or re-arranged fixtures (including those re-scheduled to
Sunday), and neither will it accept subsequent cancellation or alteration of
a valid betcunt which has been placed in advance.  The House will not apply
the Tiny Penis or Microcock rules in the case of re-arranged fixtures,
recording instead an incidence of 'No Betcunt' on your slip, however both
Tiny Penis and Microcock rules are applicable in the case of bets placed
mistakenly (or otherwise) on fixtures which were are not scheduled for a
Saturday at the time of betcunting.  So check your fucking dates carefully.
Where necessary, the House will seek clarification, but 'unclear bets' rules
apply at all times.


2)  Ghey Love Betfisting:


Posters may wish to sensationally *NOMINATE* another poster to place
betcunts on their behalf.  As such, full control of that posters account is
handed over to the nominee until such time as they are sensationally
*SACKED*.  As with all correspondence with the House, any such *NOMINATING*
or *SACKING* must take place in the appropriate thread.  For the duration of
that nominee's tenure, they will have sole responsibility for getting your
betcunt in on time, and no amount of private or public correspondence
between the poster and their nominated betfister will be taken into account
by the House.


==


Betting by mailweb:  There is to be no betting by mailweb.  All of the SBL,
including betcunting, advance betcunts, ghey love and anything else, will
take place right here in UKSF.  This is a plain-text comp for plain-text
people.

==
Unclear bets:  Although there is an officially endorsed, standardised format
for betcunting, the HOHY will endeavour to accept all bets from all cunts
providing they are in the appropriate thread*.  However, if you want to fuck
about and play silly buggers, just be aware that if your betcunt is in any
way unclear or open to misinterpretation, it will be null and void.  The
House will endeavour to seek clarification wherever possible, but any issues
still unresolved by the deadline will result in a null bet.  The House's
decision will be final in this and all other matters.  Tiny Penis and
Microcock rules will apply.


*Work is underway on a gizmo which reads betcunts from the froup and posts
them to me all spreadsheety, in the event of such a gizmo being used or
trialled then formatting of betcunts may have to be tightened.  Such
guidelines will be set by the gizmo's developer, Miss Conlan, and are
officially endorsed by the House in advance, forthwith and henceforth.


==
Changing your mind:  You may not change your mind.  Unless requested by the
House to clarify an unclear bet, your first valid posted Betcunt will be
accepted for that week regardless of any subsequent mind-changing and bet
re-posting.  Don't even try it.


==
[1] Super Sunday Double-Betcunt:  In the event of a round of betcunting
being played on a Sunday, that round will be a Super Sunday Double Betcunt.
This means you'll get to place two bets on one round of matches, should you
wish, providing they are on two different fixtures.


These can either be two specified and non-variable numerical amounts which
do not exceed your opening balance in total, or one specified numerical
non-variable amount, and one "All My Youks" bet which will mean that All
Your Youks, including any winnings from the first bet, are placed on your
second bet. You may not bet "half my winnings" or "all but ten of my Youks"
on your second bet or any other stupid dumbarse nonsense like that.  Stick
it up your bollocks.


Obviously, if you bet All Your Youks on the first bet, the only second bet
you can place is another All Your Youks.


==
Appeals:  In the event of perceived wrongdoing by the House, any betcunter
has the right to appeal.  Any official complaint must be posted in the most
recent SBL thread, though, and each case must be stated clearly within one
post.  The House will then, after careful consideration, post it's reply and
it's final ruling.  The finality of this is final.


==


Right, I think that just about covers it.  The HOHY hopes that it has worded
these rules in such a way as to negate possible controversy or
open-interpretation, but in the quite probable event that we've fucked it up
again and the shit hits the blurry black Irish Liverpool fan mid-season,
again, we will endeavour to resolve any ensuing issues fairly,
diplomatically and to the greater good of the Youksef and the SBL.  Again.


Oh, and Vicky, if you could update the betcunts rulebloat for me again I'd
be even more grateful than I was last year, and that was pretty grateful.
Thanks.


One last thing, I'm sure everyone will be delighted to know that I have
secured the services of Mr Elvis Presley for another year, so he will be
performing the opening ceremony for us again and passing his own inimitable
commentary throughout the season, through the medium of the mystical HOHY
.sig.  From beyond the grave.


We are a very lucky froup.

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