On Mon, 6 Dec 2004 11:38:25 -0000, Robert Poleson <sp@m.no> wrote:

>On Mon, 06 Dec 2004 11:24:54 GMT, the delighfully homosexual
>Stephen Grant said:
>>Come on 5 fookin nil over the nobenders
>>
>
>I'll bet Chopsy has a fondness for the simple purity of this
>post.

Poleson, even by your exalted standards, the rightness of your webpipe
is quite staggering.

I was coming home from the match between Wigan and Preston, in which,
as Professor Grant rightly states, Wigan annihilated the hapless Nob
End 5-0, and I met a couple of urchins on the Metrolink.

The little gets, observing the beatific glow of pure goalgasmic
satiation that I was operating under, asked 'so, which team do you
support then'

'Wigan Athletic', says I.

'They're shit!' they zinged back. 'We support Man United'. Now, you
might think this was staggeringly implausible, what with my being in
Manchester at the time and all, but there you go.

Anyway, after I'd trashed the little tykes to within an inch of their
lives for their impudence, I got to thinking about what it might be
like in the Prem, and I realised that I'm one of the luckiest football
fans around.

I'm watching my side play the best football they've ever played. This
looks likely to be the best season in Wigan's history, we might even
win the division, we've just stuck five goals past fierce local
rivals, the lads wearing the shirt are as good as anyone we've ever
had at the club and the manager is a proper Latics man and far and
away the best manager we've ever had. It might turn to shite next
season, but that's part and parcel of the game. In fact, the knowledge
that we'll never win the Premiership, we'll probably never win the FA
Cup, we're unlikely to win the League Cup for that matter and Europe -
well, let's not take the piss eh - makes it all the sweeter in some
ways. I might be here to watch Latics lift the best trophy they will
ever win for the first time ever.

And those scruffy terrors had the temerity to take the piss! As United
fans, their best ever manager will never eclipse Bob Paisley, despite
all the time and money he has had. They've already won it all. What's
there to look forward to? Maybe, one day, catching up with Liverpool?
Winning the Champions League again - well, they bloody ought to,
anything else is a failure. And they know they can't do it at the
moment.

The other side of the coin - being a Liverpool fan. The memories of
when they were the finest club side in the world still close enough
that you can see that they will probably never reach those heights
again. All those clubs they used to look down on inexorably closing
the honours gap. A desperate struggle to even keep pace with the
leaders. Your captain constantly linked with moves away.

Chelsea. The nagging feeling that, wonderful though your team is
playing, it's the equivalent of starting a game in cheat mode. Trying
to block out the inevitable moment when Abramovich goes for one reason
or another, and your club goes irretrievably bankrupt.

Arsenal. The best manager you ever had, and the best team you've ever
had, and they will never win the top honours in Europe. The last few
years, striving for the place amongst the very best clubs in the
world, just that one Champions League trophy to prove that yes, the
Gunners really are one of the elite. And your best chance has gone and
all those league titles are great, but it doesn't mean so much now you
realise you may never see Wenger get the spoils his effort deserves.

Everton, Man City, Aston Villa, Newcastle, Spurs. You may have won it,
and some of you even remember it. But you'll never win it again. It's
never going to be you at the top of the table. You're never going to
be a 'top club'. You might have a great season once in a while, but
these days, that means fourth placer. Once it was so much better than
that. But those days have gone. Why bother?

It's Pathos City. All those clubs, best days behind them, all fighting
for the chance to get beaten 4-0 at Highbury whilst Mark and Alan
eulogise a player who won't turn up for Arsenal when Milan come to
play and slate your midfield. All hoping that it isn't them who suffer
a couple of unlucky injuries and a bad sequence in November, and
suddenly out come the stories of how the club at the bottom at
Christmas always go down. All just going through the motions of trying
to keep their best players for another season before he gets to sit on
the bench at the Bridge.

Far better to be a gut leaguer with no history to weigh you down. The
sheer intoxicating joy of lifting a trophy you've never won before
(eh, Tommo? - and what I wouldn't give for Wigan to win it)! Let's
hear it for the teams that have won nothing.

Soz Kully, but let's hear it for Brum - they won the League Cup in
'63. After that, silence. How ace would it be to win the FA Cup?
Let's hear it for Charlton. One FA Cup - in '47. Get in Addicks!
Let's hear it for Fulham. A few gut league conquests, and that's your
lot.
Tommo's boys - we know what they've got in their trophy cupboard. You
won't catch the lads from the FNE calling the League Cup a 'Mickey
Mouse' trophy.
Saints - one FA cup, in '76 - sadly, it looks like their number might
be up this season
Norwich - no major honours in England, but a UEFA Cup isn't a bad
haul. Still, that FA Cup would look mighty fine on the mantlepiece at
Carrow Road, eh SkyJam?
Palace - as for Fulham, a raft of fine gut league honours, but nothing
more.

These are the teams you want to support if you have to go for a
Premiership club. These are the teams who have something to look
forward to. These are the teams for whom there is still a path into
the sunlit uplands. Forget your alleged giants. Nothing will be as
good for you as it was for your dad when Busby lifted the European Cup
at Lisbon, or when Tommy Smith headed the third in Rome in '77,
because it's been done before, and every season you don't do it is a
disappointment. Or because you've never had the sight of your captain
lifting the trophy, and now it won't happen and you thought it would.

As for Wiigan - we won't be arsed when Henry nets his fourth - we'll
be playing FUCKING ARSENAL! IN THE LEAGUE!! Everything we do now is
new, it's the best ever. It's fucking brilliant. I am so lucky. I will
never be this lucky again. I wish I could record it all. It's what
supporting a team is all about.

C




--
"Wigan is not a team it is a dump wit"

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