news:cUSj8.12563$nk4.588809@news-binary.blueyonder.co.uk...
> I picked up the ball, and as I did so my field of vision began to close in
> on the goal. Other players, the stand behind the goal, the ref, everything
> except the goal itself faded to a blur. What's more, the goal had started to
> look enormous, and their goalkeeper had started to look tiny. He certainly
> didn't look like he was about to save a penalty. In fact, he looked like
> even _he_ knew it was going in.
>
> As I leant down to place the ball on the spot, all was silent. The only
> things I could hear were my own heartbeats, my own breath, the goalie
> shaking a little with fear, and...what's this...a voice? Who's voice?
> Zeigermann's. It said- "_Not_ so fast, yer young scamp. Have a closer look
> at the penalty spot."
>
> He was grinning broadly. I looked down at the penalty spot, and saw...the
> towel.
> Zeigermann's towel, as it turned out. It had been there since before the
> start of the game, but none of us had really taken any notice of it,
> stupidly assuming it to be just debri strewn from the crowd. Most of us had
> never played in the first team, so we didn't know until then what he was
> like. If we had, maybe a different story.
>
> Of course, and to everyone's dismay, we all knew we had to let him take the
> penalty. No-one really saw the point as it was obvious he would be back
> scoring for the first team soon anyway, so how could scoring a meaningless
> goal in a reserves match mean anything to him? But, we also knew the rules
> were the rules. And so it was to a backdrop of slow, muted applause that
> Zeigermann thumped the ball past the predictably ineffective goal keeper and
> ran to the touchline to show his shirt number to the onlooking manager.  Even
> the ref looked gutted for me.
>
>
> To be fair, and for many of the reasons given above, I don't think that
> episode in itself really made any difference to my chances of a place in the
> first team, but you can imagine my frustration when I went to look at the
> new team-sheet that Friday to find that it too was covered by Zeigermann's
> towel. During the resulting tantrum I broke three toes and a trophy-stand,
> and it would be another three months before I would make my full debut.

Nobody knows better than I do how that must hurt, Joe.  Nobody.

It was back in the Autumn of '98.  Back then, I was the youthful
face of UKSF.  My boyish good looks adorned UKSF merchandise
from Cork to Canberra.  But having said that, my fame meant that
I found it hard to meet women who liked me for me.  You know
how it is -- When you play for the XI, women are always throwing
themselves at you but rarely for the right reasons.

But then one night, that all changed.  I met a lovely young lady,
called Karen.  Well, we hit it off straight away and I even began
to think that she could be the one.  As is inevitably the case with
these things, one thing led to another and we were soon on our
way back to my place.

When we got there, she asked which room was mine and I
pointed towards the second room on the left.  She told me to
join her there in three minutes.  We both knew that this was
going to be a night neither of us would ever forget.  And so,
three and a half minutes later (I didn't want to seem desperate
by showing up on time), I walked into my room and Karen
was lying on my bed completely naked, awaiting my arrival.

Well, I say "completely naked", but that's not strictly true.
Covering her vagina was a familiar towel -- Zeigermann's
towel.  For a second, the thought crossed my mind to remove
the towel and proceed, regardless.  But before I could act,
I felt an ominous tap on my shoulder.  I turned around to
see a naked Zeigermann eagerly waiting to get down to work.

I knew I couldn't argue -- Rules are rules, after all.  He had
got there first.  But as I sat in the front room, listening to the
two of them shagging for hours, I couldn't help feel slightly hard
done by.  I don't even know why he wanted Karen.  I mean,
he was already an established UKSF superstar at that stage and
could have had any woman he wanted.  But no, he decided he
wanted Karen and I was again left to curse his foresight.

It's not fair but as long as Zeigermann is getting his towel down
ahead of the rest of us, we're just going to have to deal with it.


--
Mike

http://www.overanalyse.com