"Old Father Tim" <mailto:the.egg.timer@the.end.of.tim> wrote in message news:uEIL7.46$fa1.106418@news2-win.server.ntlworld.com...
> Manolo Benet wrote ...
> > Imagine Celtic players.
> >
> Now imagine you're in a forest...there is a stream beside you...can you hear
> the stream? There are birds gently flapping their wings above you...it's a
> lovely calm image isn't it? Apart from all the Celtic players you imagined
> at the start.

Now think of something you really want to happen. Maybe your favourite
football team will win the cup, or you'll get a mountain bike for Christmas.
Whatever it is, just concentrate really hard on that image in your mind. Try
to visualise every last detail. Can you see it?

Good. Now put it out of your mind for good. It's never going to happen. Kiss
it goodbye. Say "adios" to your dreams, loser. When I click my fingers, you
will wake up and hate yourself forever, and your whole life while fall apart
around you. One by one your friends and family will disown you as you start
to rely heavily on alcohol and drugs (except cigarettes, which you'll find
repulsive). You will lose your job, your house, and your children. Remember
those Celtic players? They will be sleeping with your wife in your absence.
Remember the stream, and the birds? Yes, that's the local park, your new
home. Sorry about this, but us hypnotists have to let of little steam
sometimes, and today you're the unlucky one. Your problem, not mine.

*click*

Ah, back with us again. You may feel a little drowsy for a while- that's
natural,  but I am pretty sure you won't be wanting a cigarette anymore. You
can make the cheque out to Horowitz Hypnotic Cures Ltd.

Have a nice day. :-)

Joe