Some may have notice that I wasn't around last week with my usual
brand of bollocks typing/posting.  Now the reason for this was that I
went on holiday.  

During this holiday I sustained an injury whilst playing football,
namely tearing my anterior cruciate ligament. 

Now this in itself is not a unusual knee injury, what is unusual is
that I was half way up a mountain in Itay when it happened, you see I
was on a skiing holiday.  As my doctor said "it's not an unusual
skiing injury", I replied "I was playing football", he replied "it's
not an unusual football injury either",  wanker.

Which made me wonder about the injuries any of us/players may have had
that were caused by bizarre happenings.  I'm sure Dave Beassant
injured himself when a bottle of ketchup fell on his foot and another
player (who I can't remember) pulled a muscle reaching for his TV
remote control.

Any more?

Steve

NOTE TO ALL MANAGERS:
It's always a good idea to keep the sexual harassment forms in the bottom draw.
That way, when the girls in the office bend down to get one, you can have a good look at their arse.

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Steve <steve.martech@dial.pipex.com> wrote in article
<36ecee58.1671914@news.dial.pipex.com>...

> During this holiday I sustained an injury whilst playing football,
> namely tearing my anterior cruciate ligament. 
> 
> Now this in itself is not a unusual knee injury, what is unusual is
> that I was half way up a mountain in Itay when it happened, you see I
> was on a skiing holiday.  As my doctor said "it's not an unusual
> skiing injury", I replied "I was playing football", he replied "it's
> not an unusual football injury either",  wanker.

Ouch. That's a pretty nasty injury. Get well soon.

> Which made me wonder about the injuries any of us/players may have had
> that were caused by bizarre happenings.  I'm sure Dave Beassant
> injured himself when a bottle of ketchup fell on his foot

Salad cream. The broken glass cut through one of the tendons in his big
toe.

> and another
> player (who I can't remember) pulled a muscle reaching for his TV
> remote control.

It was David Seaman. Though rumour has it that was just a cover story as
he actually injured himself shagging his girlfriend.

> Any more?

It was an England player (possibly Keegan, I think it was Brooking) who
put himself out of action during Spain '82 in the bath, after he stuck
his big toe up one of the taps - it got stuck fast and swelled up, thus
ruling him out.

Another I heard was a Liverpool goalkeeper (back in the 60s) was out one
night with a fellow player. The two of them had just had fish and chips,
and the paper was screwed up into a ball for the two to play about with
in the street. The two tried a one-on-one situation, the other player
shot, the keeper jumped to save it and went straight through a shop
window, putting him out for a month.

And of course, there was the South African player a few weeks ago, who
after a contentious decision, decided to charge at the ref with a knife
he had hidden. The referee stopped him by pulling out a gun and shooting
him dead. The referee is now on trial for murder, while the player is on
trial with Nottingham Forest as they continue their search for a central
defender. Allegedly.

-- 
Chris Applegate  -  Remove x from address when replying

Brit Football FAQ: http://www.dialsquare.freeserve.co.uk/footfaq.htm
     uksf archive: http://users.ox.ac.uk/~manc0046/uksf/uksfarch.html
   Submissions to: uksf-archive@altavista.net

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In article <36ecee58.1671914@news.dial.pipex.com>, Steve
<steve.martech@dial.pipex.com> writes
>Some may have notice that I wasn't around last week with my usual
>brand of bollocks typing/posting.  Now the reason for this was that I
>went on holiday.  
>
>During this holiday I sustained an injury whilst playing football,
>namely tearing my anterior cruciate ligament. 
>
>Now this in itself is not a unusual knee injury, what is unusual is
>that I was half way up a mountain in Itay when it happened, you see I
>was on a skiing holiday.  As my doctor said "it's not an unusual
>skiing injury", I replied "I was playing football", he replied "it's
>not an unusual football injury either",  wanker.
>
>Which made me wonder about the injuries any of us/players may have had
>that were caused by bizarre happenings.  I'm sure Dave Beassant
>injured himself when a bottle of ketchup fell on his foot and another
>player (who I can't remember) pulled a muscle reaching for his TV
>remote control.
>
>Any more?
>
>Steve

Does the guy who parachuted into the Villa stadium count?
-- 
John Glover.
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Anti spam filter in use: Change nospam to j-glover
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The best view is from the Bridge, in London SW6
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John Glover <john@nospam.demon.co.uk> wrote in article
<ggPM0DA5TP72Ewu7@j-glover.demon.co.uk>...

> Does the guy who parachuted into the Villa stadium count?

Not anymore.  But I believe his reading skills are coming along
nicely.

Mike